Thank God for Animals

         This may come as a shock to many people, given my boisterous nature, but as a young child I was terrified of strangers. I was “chronically shy” as my mom would call me. When the doorbell rang I would scurry behind a chair or my mom’s legs to watch from “safety,” when my family brought me to meet Santa Claus I screamed, cried, and kicked until I could run away and hide. I was scared of everyone, other kids, women, men- especially men with beards. This phase of my life lasted for years. 

I even found talking to my own family troubling. Yet, I babbled to our family dog for hours on end. Everyone else found it endlessly strange that such a scared child never had any issue with animals. I would pick up wild squirrels, coo over enormous dogs, catch and release toads, etc. Where people were endlessly confusing, animals made sense. All that animals want is the affirmation that you care, and they’ll show you that they care right back.

(P.S. This is my childhood good boy, Strider)

My parents noticed my connection to animals from a very young age and decided that it may be the perfect way to help me get through my shyness. My mom began taking me to the dog park with her in early elementary school. She instituted the rule that I couldn’t play with or pet a dog until I found its owner and asked for permission. That way, I had to interact with people- and for those dogs I was very willing. 

Quickly my absurdly large knowledge of dog breeds, facts, and behaviors drew adults towards me. They found my shockingly thoughtful responses to their questions to be quite adorable. I would spend half an hour talking about one person’s dog with them, a total stranger, which no one would have predicted I’d be able to do before then. As the months of dog park visits went on I was picking up on how to talk to people, how to connect, how to not be so scared. My mom even began taking me to pet stores and zoos, so that I could ask questions and get more practice talking to people.

Through all of this I learned that not all people are terrifying. A concept that has helped me leave behind my social anxieties and bond with people. I also still love animals so much that I aspire to become a veterinarian! I really believe that animals are the reason I’m now the outgoing gal you know and love. ;)

BONUS PET PICS (from left to right: Mufasa, Daenerys, and Chief)

  

Teenage Love Story

I’m sure by now most of you have heard me say the name Spencer. For those of you that haven’t- Spencer is my best friend, my “mans,” my companion as we say. So, yeah, he’s my boyfriend. If you know our relationship you know that we are annoyingly PDA, never not talking (shout out to every teacher that’s had to deal with us not-so-slyly texting in class), and basically the same person. We’re always there for each other, always there to listen, to cry, and to laugh, for anything and everything.  

So here’s our little story:

Spence and I have known each other since freshman year. A mutual friend thought we’d ~like like~ each other, or however we would have said that as little freshies, and tried to subtly set us up. Sadly, at the time he was going through deep hardships and we fell out of contact after a few months. When we reconnected in our sophomore year I had just gotten myself out of a terrible situation that I won’t get into too much- but basically I was 15 and stuck in a relationship with a controlling 17 year old guy. I felt exploited and ashamed. I didn’t know how to explain what I’d been going through to anyone. When I couldn’t find it in myself to tell anyone else, Spencer was there

From our first kiss I could feel how much he wanted me to be with him. Which is something I hadn’t experienced in a pure way before. He… just… liked me?? Like my personality?? CRAZY SHIT. But let me tell you, I was digging it. He’s one of the few people I’m entirely myself around.

He and I love to try new food around town, binge watch tv shows, get deep in each other’s hobbies, compete in sports and video games, dance, sing, walk, cook, we even work together over the summers.

 I remember this one night when we built our first blanket fort in my basement and talked for what I’m sure was hours. There was this moment when I was looking at him sleepily smile at me, doing nothing in particular, and I knew I was in love. I was so scared to tell him- what if he didn’t feel the same?? But the way that I felt with him and how he shared every part of himself with me (and the furious encouragements from Kat and Glo) quickly convinced me that I might as well just tell him how I was feeling. SPOILER: he felt the same. He’d just been too nervous to say anything for a couple months beforehand.

I was under the impression that teenage love was puppy love, not real or deep, but this didn’t feel like puppy love to me. It felt like a canyon filled with a golden mist, glowing and mysterious. 

I had assumed it would end eventually, even though I wanted the feeling to last forever. But, luckily, helping him with his algebra changed to calculus and the common app. Meeting his parents grew to hours long conversations with his grandfather. He’s the one that’s taken care of me through both of my surgeries. I’m the one that looks after him while he’s down. And still just holding his hand fills me with warm happiness.

My canyon expanded and a golden river has begun to run with the mist. I know it probably just sounds like a silly youth romance to most of you, but to me it’s a real, deep, true love. The kind that I know, no matter what happens, will be completely unforgettable. The amount of love I hold for him has helped me show love to the other people in my life, including myself. It’s the type of love that makes me write letters, draw him when I’m sketching, call just to hear his voice, and try to tell him every single day that I’m so grateful to have him in my life. Spencer is and always will be my first love. And that’s my teenage love story.